Don't Write Down All Your Crimes
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Sorry, occupational hazard: This is not legal advice, nor can I give you legal advice. I AM NOT YOUR LAWYER. Sorry! Everything here is for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact your attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular issue or problem. Nothing here should be construed to form an attorney-client relationship. Also, some of the links in this post may be affiliate links, meaning, at no cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. But if you click, it really helps me make more of these videos! All non-licensed clips used for fair use commentary, criticism, and educational purposes. See Hosseinzadeh v. Klein, 276 F.Supp.3d 34 (S.D.N.Y. 2017); Equals Three, LLC v. Jukin Media, Inc., 139 F. Supp. 3d 1094 (C.D. Cal. 2015).

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  • Andewy

    Or this could be a way to trick people into falsely confessing if they believe they are writing down all the possible crimes they think they would be charged of in relation to o e event? Let's boil it down to a simple traffic infraction... say you ran a stop sign... if you were told you would be pardoned of this if you wrote down everything you believe you did involving this one thing... you could put down numerous things down. Failure to maintain control, failure to yield, improper use of brakes, failure to stop, failure to obey traffic signs, etc. This might be what happened and why you should always hire a lawyer. I don't really have an opinion because I just don't know who or what happened.

  • Pelham Bissell
    Pelham Bissell

    That’s what John Dean realized when Nixon told him write up a history of “Watergate” and the “Plumbers “ so he went to congress and ultimately Nixon resigned

  • Max Hyde
    Max Hyde

    Just put "in Minecraft" after every crime and you're goo- oh wait, the FBI is catching on to that. Maybe write "in the Sims" instead.

  • Von Flooferton
    Von Flooferton

    "You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity" - Shrek

  • schwedi-gal

    That isn’t legal defence it’s just common sense

  • jdprettynails
    jdprettynails're saying I shouldn't start using a Death Note?

  • KTo288

    More important than not writing it down; do not take selfies of you and your friends engaging in criminality, and even if you do, do not post it on social media.

  • Chang Fong Chua
    Chang Fong Chua

    Actually they should definitely write them down :D

  • Offbeat Onpoint Games
    Offbeat Onpoint Games

    Im okay if people like matt gatez self incriminate all the crimes they've ever committed.

  • NiNi Na
    NiNi Na

    "Dear diary..." 😄 Depends on if you have already been convicted for them. THEN writing them down and selling them as a book might actually make you money.

  • Daniel Garrett
    Daniel Garrett

    Um. No. Write down all your crimes. Please. Record them all. Please stop teaching ignorant scumbags how not to be ignorant. Fu**ing lawyers....

  • Tyler Cuddeback
    Tyler Cuddeback

    @businessblaze like Simon Whistler always says "Don't write down your crimes"

  • Lachlan Lacey
    Lachlan Lacey

    Would love to hear your take on the recent joint FBI and Australian Federal Police operation where they had organised crime use blackberries to just openly admit all their crimes. 😂

  • Niklas Nordbäck
    Niklas Nordbäck

    Only the ones im proud of

  • Wilhelm Screamer
    Wilhelm Screamer

    Reality is unrealistic

  • Linda Dorsey
    Linda Dorsey


  • Gianni Descalzo
    Gianni Descalzo

    One thing that always shocks me when you watch those true crime documentary videos about people who kill their spouses or 2hatever is how many of them keep detailed notes in a notepad, of time frames and, shopping lists for murder/dismemberment supplies, detailed motive explanations, etc.

  • 872215juan Contreras
    872215juan Contreras

    Or "suicide" from a cell🤷

  • Bakkerkid

    List of all my crimes: Once copied a video might have lost a library book stole a trinket when I was 3.

  • TheRolePlayer

    Wait... So I *shouldn't* list bribes in tax returns? But isn't that illegal in the states?

  • Joe Hoffmann
    Joe Hoffmann

    I mean... If you don't want to be prosecuted for those crimes. If you want to receive punishment, by all means, go right ahead.

  • Sophia Astatine
    Sophia Astatine

    How am I going to prevent forgetting my various nachos and curry recipes if I don't write them down?

  • Sontapää11 Jokulainen
    Sontapää11 Jokulainen

    The people who brag about smoking weed/being high on the internet with pictures and all be like:

  • Matthew

    What about statute of limitations? If someone writes their biography and they admit to crimes committed years or decades ago, would that be okay?

  • grimwatcher

    On the other hand, additionally to writing down all the crimes you've committed, you could also present all the evidence that assures you committed the crime so that we can be thorough in our pardoning, wink* wink*

  • MetaSynForYourSoul

    Bruh...these people are cartoons.

  • Mary Rhudy
    Mary Rhudy

    Yep. Another epic 'Oh, shit!' moment in legal history.

  • leif erik Lund
    leif erik Lund

    To criminals!!. Yes do it!!!!. Write it down. And send it to police. Stupid criminals. 😂😂

  • Daniel Mcleod
    Daniel Mcleod

    I don't care if you have pictures I don't care if you have videos my fingerprints anyting everything else my DNA my hair my shoes my clothes I don't care if I'm in the same clothes as the video and the picture I'm not admitting to any crime. That's fake. I'm innocent that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

  • Julia Fletcher
    Julia Fletcher

    This person is pardoned for any and all known and unknown crimes they've committed between (DOB) and (current date). Voila

  • jeanluc stitt
    jeanluc stitt

    Uhh naw if yall did some crimes and your this dumb please write down as many as you can.

  • Brandon Corley
    Brandon Corley

    🤣🤣🤣 wow Engel just wow

  • shosha101390

    Oh you want a pardon? Yeah just tell us everything you might possibly need a pardon for. Then we’ll take that and follow the due process of the law because you’re the dumbest criminal we could find.

  • adolph gracius
    adolph gracius

    maybe do it, Criminals need to face their act, no?

  • Dolly Madison
    Dolly Madison

    How could he get a pardon from DT anyway? He's not potus anymore.

  • Help your cat to drive.
    Help your cat to drive.


  • KCs Funhouse
    KCs Funhouse

    It’s like they’re stuck in HS, I mean you’d have to be to fall for something like that.

  • dcard228

    I can't believe you need to hear that from a lawyer lmao I thought it was common sense

  • James Smith
    James Smith

    So is this guy ever gonna do a video on NOT a republican?? Asking for a friend...

  • brix1094

    this is why im happy my college was the hard knocks instead of an actual college lol.

  • Shelly Lynn
    Shelly Lynn

    The real question is why the hell are pardons even a thing at all?

  • Don Wilson
    Don Wilson

    Lets see how well any of this sticks to matt gatez. Only the brainless would jump on such a foolish wagon!!

  • Ryan Gustin
    Ryan Gustin

    This guy looks like Ryan Reynold’s cousin. He looks like if Ryan Reynolds was born in an alternate universe but one parent was different.

  • Beth Maldonado
    Beth Maldonado

    Thanks! Very useful.

  • HighonLife

    Wouldn't he be pardoned for all of his crimes then?

    • HighonLife

      @Dath123 ohhhhh

    • Dath123

      If you actually get pardoned, but if you don't you kind of only wrote a confession letter.

  • William Gentry
    William Gentry

    Had engaged in.. Whatever happened to allegedly engaged in...?! Socialist.. always carrying water for the Marxist.

  • Moza G Smith
    Moza G Smith

    Equivalent of "ooooh my god, just shut up!"

  • minetruly

    What if all I did was steal 200 gallons of Sprite out of a truck, have sexual relations with a goat, and commit arson?

  • crosshair

    1 crime

  • Jerry Martinez
    Jerry Martinez

    Why don’t you talk about joe biden and his crackhead son’s scandals for once

  • Jjackandbrian

    Old LegalEagle: film reviews New LegalEagle: political commentary

  • Autumn Rose
    Autumn Rose

    Why would you confess to all of your crimes on paper. That’s a one way ticket to going to jail/prison🤦🏽‍♀️

  • Bee Happy
    Bee Happy

    Write down all Your crimes. He wrote what he and another did. Lame I take it you don't like the other guy?

  • John Anadale
    John Anadale

    Or even better obvious advice, don't commit crimes. Lol

  • S.l dubs
    S.l dubs

    Hey so what are the knife laws in California like what knifes are legal how old do you need to be to own a knife in California are you allowed to own a Bowie knife and how old you need to be to have one

  • brandon

    can someone explain to me what a pardon is

    • Dath123

      Basically it's like being forgiven, and it removes all of the legal penalties associated with the crime being pardoned.

  • J Jones
    J Jones

    In fact be very careful of anything you put in writing.

  • Earthling 6.455.463.728
    Earthling 6.455.463.728

    So how're you supposed to get your pardon then lol!! No seriously how're you supposed to get the necessary pardons lol!! No seriously... lol!! :-|

  • Paradox Effekt
    Paradox Effekt

    Nickey Rackets is better.

  • DarnedEnd57

    Real life Saul lmao

  • Aaron Hancock
    Aaron Hancock

    Wouldnt someone need to have been convicted prior to needing a pardon??? Lol

    • Dath123

      Technically I'd say no since this has happened, Nixon was pardoned by Ford before ever being convicted of anything.

  • John Jones
    John Jones


  • Markus S
    Markus S

    So how many people is this even relevant for? Is it in any way common that people have an entire portfolio of crimes that they meed to keep to themselves? Just made me think....

  • Ford Prefect
    Ford Prefect

    If you're not acting as people's official lawyer should you not be encouraging them to be caught for their crimes?

  • Jon Duggan
    Jon Duggan

    Yeah........... probably a good idea not to run your mouth on tik tok too. You'd be surprised how many people do just that....... and post incriminating photos to back it up.

  • Bdeye Bdeye
    Bdeye Bdeye

    All your content biased and used to push propaganda like most liberals

  • Cookie Crumblez
    Cookie Crumblez

    He should’ve made a PowerPoint. I want the animations and sound effects on them!

  • Ekrompir Krtolić
    Ekrompir Krtolić

    for me if I did ti would just be a ton of crossings on red lights

  • Sonya Twiss
    Sonya Twiss

    "Don't admit to anything unless your on camera"!

  • endgame336

    Dont tell criminals not to write it down they deserve what is coming to them

  • Michelle Johnson
    Michelle Johnson

    Or make up a crime

  • Josh Enoch
    Josh Enoch

    Here’s some not so legal advice! Don’t believe everything some moron writes on a piece of paper

  • Shardz_Skies

    1.Armed Robbery 2.Aggravated Assault 3.Petty Theft 4.Arson

  • Marlin Andrews
    Marlin Andrews

    Subtle propaganda

  • Reirek

    I committed [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] and also a lot of [REDACTED]

  • Nut Meg
    Nut Meg

    The ultimate caucasity

  • Nathan Diefenbach
    Nathan Diefenbach

    If you ever feel bad, remember that Matt Gaetz got his first high school girlfriend in his thirties.

  • patrapper7

    How about some???

  • willsham45

    I stowl gum when I was 8 please dont awest me.

  • Alok 269
    Alok 269

    Stop educating the criminals.

  • ChocoMilk

    Piracy,Jay Walking like 1 or 2 times

  • CrazexSteve

    Don’t confess to all the crimes and sign the paper? Got it

  • IsleofMAN

    Is “Do not ever” a double negative?

    • Scott Rushforth
      Scott Rushforth

      "do not never" would be a double negative, but "do not ever" just specifies to not do it ever, under any circumstances

  • Jimmy

    Well if I had to write down everything you might as well just grab the law book cause their all in their

  • ScienceFraction

    Don't write down all the crimes I've ever committed? Oh now you tell me.

  • Amy Lynn
    Amy Lynn

    "Maybe don't write those down...."😂😂 The fact that you even have to say that is CRAZY! Love you LegalEagle!

  • Zakumei

    This just in: Delusional trumpie does something irrational, shortsighted and extremely stupid!. This story at 9, but until then, we go to our ground correspondant, confirming... yes indeed, Water is still wet, grass is still green, and the sky is indeed blue!

  • Who Dat
    Who Dat

    This just simply isn’t true at all

  • SickMade Macie 801
    SickMade Macie 801

    I had to do this as step work in drug treatment

  • Goalie Man
    Goalie Man

    I said “didn’t ask,” to my Math teacher

  • Mosinlogan

    Prosecutor: “alright now just write down all of the crimes that you have committed for the pardon paperwork” Idiot: “okay easy enough” Prosecutor: “GUYS HE REALLY FELL FOR IT, I CANT BELIEVE IT!”

  • DatBurn

    i stole over 20 pencils last year and i am sorry

  • Warren Pierce
    Warren Pierce

    Did he go to Epstein's Island?

  • Esteb5n Caballero
    Esteb5n Caballero

    Wait what did he do

  • Ren

    The only crime I’ve committed is being a complete and total snacc also maybe being an idiot but that’s besides the point.

  • Harry Mu
    Harry Mu

    wait innit trump not a prez anymore

    • Harry Mu
      Harry Mu

      @funkytoenail hi ahhh ok I got weirded out for a second lmao

    • funkytoenail hi
      funkytoenail hi

      @Harry Mu no no no, hes talking about stuff that happened in the past

    • Harry Mu
      Harry Mu

      @funkytoenail hi yea I get that part but why is that tax collector still trying to ask for a pardon from trump of all people

    • funkytoenail hi
      funkytoenail hi

      Go to the library, get a dictionary, then look up "former"

  • minkeyandzomble

    See may not be a lawyer or law thing. But I listen to enough crime podcasts to know NEVER WRITE DOWN YOUR CRIMES.

  • Zeus ruger
    Zeus ruger

    fake! this is slandering of mr. gaetz and president trump,

  • Jack Dough
    Jack Dough

    Just cause you have nice hair doesn’t make you smart

  • Jesus

    I once took 2 cookies instead of 1.